One time I tried to fart while playing online poker really late while my girlfriend was asleep. About half of the fart came out before I realized more was on its way out too. I caught that before it was too late and jumped up and started to run to the bathroom. I had headphones on and yanked my head to the left and pulled my tower over as I kicked a 25 lb weight on the floor, broke my toe and then shit all over myself.
I was trying to open a little cup of pudding with a steak knife, and it went all the way through my hand.
Walked head first into a mind your head sign once. Not my finest moment.
Cutting a cake for a friends birthday, accidentally drop knife, attempt to catch it with foot.
Tried jumping over a bonfire, and hit someone mid air who had the same idea.I won because i didnt need 3 weeks in a burns unit, just a bottle of aloe-vera cream
As a child I was messing around with the cigarette lighter in the family car, and I just knew once the lighter bit stopped being orange it must have cooled off. It doesn’t. Burnt my thumb twice.. slow learner.